We should understand how priceless life is. Only then can be balance between our do’s and our don’ts. 

By Shajiya Khanom

A few days back I found an article when I was looking for reading materials for the idea, “how and where people can find happiness and peace” on the internet. Something this article showed was that there is a link between geography and personality! I’m not sure what the scientific reasoning is behind this, but I really feel that nature has the ultimate connection with our inner peace. Here ,my concern is more about human nature. 

All through my life I went through so many up and downs that since childhood until now, there were no such issues that I hadn’t faced. Body shaming, health issues, financial crisis, family crisis, personal conflicts, etc. So, when I realized that the way to get through the battle of life is to deal with it tactfully. I had to plan some strategies based on my interests and abilities to hold myself high and be optimistic. In fact, we all know that the tough times will pass eventually, we just need to hang in there. So, my motto ended up being – to pass through these rough times, do some positive activities in your daily life. It is important that we should do these positive activities consistently, whether it’s a hobby or not. Which means you will need some self motivation. Otherwise getting rid of depression won’t be easy for a common, average person like me.

The Beginning 

So what I tried to do was create some peaceful, enjoyable segments in my daily life, not only when I feel upset or stressed out but also to take a break from my mechanical, monotonous city life. A few moments of serenity can give you the potency to deal with your inner conflicts and despair. 

Dear readers, the way I create my moments doesn’t mean you have to do it exactly the same way. You can definitely do it your own way and find things worthy of your time. Remember, whatever you want to do to bring back your serenity of mind should be within your interests and abilities. 

        So here are some of the activities I’ve incorporated according to my convenience. 

Special Tea-time

I am a tea lover, but not addicted. I drink tea twice or thrice a day. During the day after managing all the household chores, taking care of my son and other activities, I try to make sure I have an hour to spare for myself in the evenings, when there’s still a little bit of sunlight. I’ve arranged a sitting area in my small balcony garden, which is both aesthetically and functionally soothing for me. Especially for my own eyes, I get to see a visually green and an emotionally comfortable scene. Dear readers, it is nothing luxurious of course. I just enjoy having a cup of tea there while reading one of my favorite books. The most important thing is that you have your “me-time” once in a while in a way that you love. Those moments that I create literally boost my mind and help me recover from tiredness. 



Go to a Reading cafe


Before the pandemic, I would go to a nearby reading cafe and spend a few hours strolling around looking at the books and picking up a few to read. I was lucky to get the chance to stop at these cafes when I had to drop my son off at his preschool. Those leisurely stops never slowed down my daily routine. Instead, I felt fresh, and warm, revived even! Our minds are always thinking about the pain of what we do not have or what we cannot have. So our minds also need a vacation. These moments were like a vacation for my soul. I would love to continue my hangout adventures in the future, when we will get back to our normal days. Just praying everyday that this pandemic is over soon.



Write a letter to someone anonymous or a loved one

After getting married, my husband and I had to maintain a long distance relationship because of his higher studies abroad. It became more difficult when our son was born. I had to take care of him while fighting with postpartum depression all by myself. I could not share this with my mom or anyone close to me as I was totally new to this vulnerable situation. So I had to find a way out to be mentally stable. So, I started writing letters to my husband in the middle of the night after waiting for my son to fall asleep. The funny part is that I never sent those letters to him. I didn’t want him to be anxious from far away, especially since he already had an overload of research work. Writing those letters was a catharsis for a tired and busy new mom after a long and exhausting day. Dear readers, believe me that this worked. The idea is to never let your brain be overwhelmed with tension. To let go of your tensions (maybe for the time being), share it in your own way. 


Be part of  a music school / learn music

There is a saying that playing a musical instrument improves memory and also sustains the brain, so that it helps keep you calm. Having that in mind, my son and I have started going to a music school once a week that was founded by three young, talented musicians. The environment they have created and the effort they have put into their learning process has made a unique impact on our emotions. Now I know doing such activities like playing a guitar can help reduce stress and make me feel relaxed. And for my son, it has become one of his favourite places to visit. Everyday I practice my guitar lessons for 20 minutes but in just those few minutes I feel so much joy and so much creativity from inside of me that it’s enough to turn a bad day into a good one.

I would like to add some more that is theorised by psychologist Michale Jolkovski who states, “…(music) can satisfy the need to unwind from the worries of life, but unlike the other things people often use for this purpose, such as excessive eating, drinking, watching too much tv or aimless web browsing, it makes people more alive and connected with one another. 





Be a part of Social organisation 

I believe it’s a part of human nature to feel an urge to comfort the suffering of other people. I also feel the same way. Before, I hadn’t had the opportunity to help people in need because of scarcity of resources and a lack of opportunities. Luckily, since 2019, I have gotten involved with a voluntary organization which basically originated through my cousins and other family members. 

Working as a key coordinator, I have to deal with other members, the donors, and of course the needy people whom we are helping. I really feel great being a part of a social welfare group, no matter how small it is. When people call me from different remote parts of our country and say thanks with blessings, it makes my life worthy of living. Believe me, when someone totally unknown says that she/he is so grateful and are praying for you wholeheartedly, you would find your inner peace just like that. It could affect you so much that you could end up addicted to doing good. I wonder why people always use “addiction” to refer to bad things. I think the addiction of helping others is the best point of being humans. 

Why am I sharing ?

I share my strategies and experiences to you all with a hope in mind that if this is a good read and could touch one in a million, that’s enough to make me happy. We all know, most of us are just living our lives in a very common pattern. We have no power to change others, forget about changing the world. But, if we could live our own life right, in a peaceful way, we could spread happiness and bring peace to this world all together. There will be no necessity searching for inner peace, because we will be surrounded by it eventually.

Dear readers, sometimes people might ask you a common question – “do you prefer the mountains or the sea? Are you a beach or mountain person?” When I close my eyes and think about the answer, I always see myself walking down a never ending wide open road with large green trees along both sides. You know why I see that scene while closing my eyes? Because I feel good and at ease while making up that visual in my mind. In fact, life is all about finding peace of mind. It depends on you, do you want to search for it or create it with what you have?

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