Treat your life like an open book, so others can read and get inspired.

by Shajiya Khanom

I still remember the day I was walking alone, head down feeling like a failure, crying inside. I was on my way home from my after school coaching class. That day made me feel so depressed and so perplexed. I was young and innocent, so much so that I felt like my only option was to quit everything, especially every relationship I had. There was no one I could share my pain with. I couldn’t focus on anything without thinking of my pain. It was hard to move on. But somehow, I managed to survive that day, and then the day after that, and the day after that, and so on. That specific day taught me a lesson that made me strong inside and eventually helped me face people so insecure they have to put others down. 

So why was that day too hard to cherish yet worthy of remembering? Why is it important to share our pain ? Well today, in my first ever blog, I want to share that day with all of you. Through my story, I’m hoping to encourage people, especially those who are young and soft hearted, who are the victims of body shaming or any kind of social embarrassment.

That was the day I first realized that I was being bullied for my body shape. Bullied by people in the society I belong to, people I interact with everyday. I’ve always been very skinny. My friends, relatives, and sometimes people I didn’t even know constantly pointed out my weight. Every comment hurt but I didn’t say anything to anyone. I thought that this was just how things were. I thought it people were just naturally that straight forward. I was wrong. On that day, I was walking on the street all by myself, when these inept young boys started teasing me with mean and bitter words about my body. They even made degrading comments about my body shape! After this happened, I walked back home, cried a lot, and shared my pain with my mom like I always had. These such incidents had become common for me in those days. # Why was that day too hard to cherish yet worthy of remembering?

knew I was one of the most meritorious girls in my school, and those boys were just some uneducated manner less losers. Yet, I was the one who felt inferior. I was the one that felt like an outcast in society. Why was that? Why would I even bother with people who aren’t able to say good things to others. Should I have replied to them or corrected them on the spot for their misbehavior? No. I shouldn’t have. That’s what I believe. People that put others down come into our lives in many forms. Some are as a friend, some as part of family, and some as strangers. It’s up to me to decide who I let touch my heart – everyone or just the few who matter to me. If those that matter say anything offensive, that’s when I’ll reply. Because they will make sure not hurting my feeling anymore. But not to those who have no impact on my life. These people don’t know that saying bad things to others is not a tool for amusement.  People who lack of empathy ,they will never know how peaceful it is to say beautiful things to others. It helps enrich our souls. This realization was like a new beginning for me. This is what led to two points of my self motivation strategy. 

 1.   “ say good to people “ 

 2. “ listen and respond to only those who matter”

Trust me, it works for both the narrator and the listener.

The story hasn’t finished yet and my self motivation strategy points weren’t built in a day. It took time and perseverance to understand what life is and how important it is to motivate yourself positively from the start.

# Why is it important to share our pain ?

Ultimately, the solution to your problems lie within yourself. Only you can decide what is best for you because no one can really walk in your shoes and live the life you have. What I’ve written so far is based on what experience taught me. I did not share my pain when I needed to the most. At the time, I didn’t think I was strong enough to really grasp was what happening. I didn’t realize that I needed to share the crisis that I was enduring, with those that I can rely on. That much mental stress led me to a big mistake that I would later come to regret, an attempt to take my life. Thanks to the Almighty Allah that I am still alive. Regrettably an  indispensable life lesson i learned fifteen years back ,when i got married just after completing my graduation At the time, I didn’t realize that I could share and face it with courage. I would like to share that moral story with you all on my future post. What I experienced during that incident led me to curate another self-motivation strategy; It is so important that you share your pain. Once you begin to share these points of pain, sensitivity, embarrassment, etc. with the people you trust, you realize that you not only start to feel relieved, but they bother you less. You do not need to share every little problem just to feel lighter. But share those problems that make you feel vulnerable, the issues that are constantly on your mind and eating away at your life. Remember though, that opening yourself up to people you trust is the first step of sharing. Sharing your problems with others doesn’t mean that you’ll find a fast solution to them right away. You don’t even need to follow the advice of your well wishers you trust. Sometimes, you just need a place to vent.

“ Share your problems but deal with them courageously. “

There are many tips and techniques that we can follow to improve the quality of our lives and make ourselves happy with what we have. We only live once and we should live our lives with as much joy as possible.

Every stage of human life has its own features. We should act in accordance with the change to enjoy life to its fullest. 

That’s why I follow some strategies in my day to day that I’ve taken from my own life experiences to motivate myself as well as spread positivity in others lives.

  1. “ say good to people “ 
  2. “listen and respond to only those who matter”
  3. “Share your problems but deal with them courageously.”
  4. “Remember ,no amount of anxiety can  change your future –  So live life in the moment.”
  5. “Taking care of your mental health is just as important as your physical health. Create a sense of fun and freedom in your life (eg. hobbies) to mitigate some unavoidable stress.”
  6. “ Do not think too much of anything. Sometimes you need to be selfish to have a peaceful life.”

So my readers, my question to you is – did you find the strategies listed in this article helpful? If you found these at all beneficial, please share it with your friends, colleagues, and anyone you want to help.

4 Responses

    1. Yes , you are absolutely right, when you want to be the good kind of selfishness .Because we also need to take care of ourselves, nurture ourselves. So you can help others with a peaceful mind at your highest potential.

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